Having a brave conversation with children about wars.
- vvicquen
- Jul 6, 2024
- 3 min read
April 29, 2024
In times of disarray, when the world is divided by politics and wars, the media continues to shower news about how many people were killed, injured, or are starving , it is time to talk. Children are exposed to this sad news the same way adults are. They hear it from conversation at home between parents and adults, at school from peers and teachers and from other sources. They might make a comment. They might repeat something they heard or express concerns. Silence is hurtful to children who try to make sense of the world around them and rely on adults for clarifications.
As an anti-bias educator listening to what children say, learning about the source of their information and asking how they feel about it is essential.
One safe way to clarify and have a brave conversation on a hard subject is to take a humanistic approach.
Focusing on Children’s Rights.
All children have rights. The right to be safe, the right to have shelter, the right to be taken care of, the right to have food, the right to have medical attention, the right to learn and get an education. Older children can read the UNICEF website “The Convention on the rights of the child: The Children Version” and have an in-class discussion.
When a country decides, for political reasons, to fight against another country they are taking these rights away. Is it fair?
Focusing on Empathy
Using age-appropriate language and encouraging compassion, the discussion can focus on how children are affected by war.
Children experiencing war, must flee their home and perhaps their country for safety and are displaced. Some of them will never return home.
Some children affected by war become orphaned or are separated from their parents and family members.
Children in armed conflict experience hunger, injuries, loss of schooling and social life.
All children in the world deserve to be safe at home, at school and in their society. During a war, children are not safe. Is it fair ?
Focusing on Helping
Talking about war is sad and scarry. While most media reports tragedy, there is little said about people that are courageous and brave their own life, helping children and their family during war. Highlighting humanitarian actions done by organizations or by local people can not only bring a message of hope, but also confirms the solidarity and care of the people for each other and teaches us about resilience.
One of the Guidelines for Brave Conversations with Children from the book Anti-Bias Education for Young Children and Ourselves, Building an Anti-Bias Education Program: Clarifying and Brave conversations, second edition, proposes to, “give the children something to do to make things better.” Together we can think about ways to make the world a better place and age appropriately brainstorm how to achieve it.
Children during a war need protection, health support, food, clean water, shelter, hygiene, education and more. Who is helping? What can be done? How can we help?
Focusing on advocacy
The same way people demonstrate courage helping children and their family in the field during war, Anti- Bias educators and all educators should demonstrate courage in teaching how to respond to uncomfortable issues and address how to solve conflits in a peaceful manner with a humanitarian perspective.
"If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children." —Mahatma Gandhi, lawyer, and activist.
Resources & References
The Convention on the rights of the child: The Children Version and have in class discussion.
How to talk to your children about conflict and war
Anti-Bias Education for Young Children and Ourselves. Louise Derman-Sparks, Julie Olsen Edwards, Catherine M. Goins. (2020). National Association for the Education of Young Children.
Veronika Vicqueneau, M.A. (hear my name)
Pronouns: She, her, hers
Anti-bias and peace educator leader, researcher, associate faculty, and consultant.
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